Dating in high school is overrated

26-May-2019 09:44

During the early 1950’s, the term used to describe dating was “courting.” However, courting held more significance because it involved the intention of marriage.

In today’s society, people aren’t dating or courting, rather they are “talking” or “sleeping with someone with no commitment”.

That’s not what the Bible teaches, and it’s not what God’s design for man and woman is. There is something else to know about sexuality, and we know it from experience. Namely, one of the most powerful forces in human life is the awakening of a peculiar happiness and desire that comes from being liked by a person of the opposite sex.

I have watched otherwise strong, wise, and seemingly mature Christian young people completely lose their moral bearings when they find out that they are liked — that they are attractive to an unbeliever.

Social media has a big effect on the way dating has changed.

It definitely has changed some intimate relationships, though whether or not the change is positive or negative is largely dependent on the couple.

It’s as if every switch on the mainframe of their moral life gets turned off while one massive desire button is alive and well.

“I want, want, want to be with this person who likes me so much.” It’s a frightening power to watch because of how blinding it is to wisdom, Scripture, and Christ, and how it has such long-term implications. This is true for people in their twenties and thirties and forties. ” I assume what Josh is asking about is young men and women in their teenage years like fifteen, sixteen, and seventeen years old doing things together one on one because they especially like each other.

In other words, pretty quickly people who are doing things together because they like each other are going to feel some sense of proprietary action here, some possessiveness, a kind of desire for some special focus or qualified commitment, not marriage, not engagement, but something else. My generation said, “going steady.” Now that seems to imply something that to me is absolutely natural. Such relationships seem perfectly natural and good. The question becomes, “Is it wise for a sixteen-year-old to step into that river that flows towards marriage? That would be, it seems to me, a remarkable exception that proves the wisdom of the rule — namely, that the maturity level of teenagers is not great enough to make such massive decisions.What I think that implies for high school is that young people should be encouraged to do things in groups that include both young men and young women, but that they hold back from pairing off.I would encourage Josh and other teenagers who might be listening that if they don’t see the wisdom in this, you should listen carefully to your parents and follow their counsel.He is author of more than 50 books, including Is dating in high school harmful? “Hi, Pastor John, my name is Josh, and I’m a high school student. Most people who I value as close friends and God loving people say that it’s mostly pointless and dumb to date in high school.Yet many strong and godly couples I know who have been married for many years met and dated in high school!

In other words, pretty quickly people who are doing things together because they like each other are going to feel some sense of proprietary action here, some possessiveness, a kind of desire for some special focus or qualified commitment, not marriage, not engagement, but something else. My generation said, “going steady.” Now that seems to imply something that to me is absolutely natural. Such relationships seem perfectly natural and good. The question becomes, “Is it wise for a sixteen-year-old to step into that river that flows towards marriage? That would be, it seems to me, a remarkable exception that proves the wisdom of the rule — namely, that the maturity level of teenagers is not great enough to make such massive decisions.

What I think that implies for high school is that young people should be encouraged to do things in groups that include both young men and young women, but that they hold back from pairing off.

I would encourage Josh and other teenagers who might be listening that if they don’t see the wisdom in this, you should listen carefully to your parents and follow their counsel.

He is author of more than 50 books, including Is dating in high school harmful? “Hi, Pastor John, my name is Josh, and I’m a high school student. Most people who I value as close friends and God loving people say that it’s mostly pointless and dumb to date in high school.

Yet many strong and godly couples I know who have been married for many years met and dated in high school!

Good night, I had forgotten how massively I loved her in a powerfully sexual and romantic way. If you turn that process into a high school pastime with revolving relationships, you are robbing yourself of the very best you can have.