Dating tips for noobs setting the mood with your woman

08-Mar-2019 13:57

My point here is that these fantasies tend towards an unrealistic level of control of the sexual situation, even when compared with real-life D/S.

In fact, D/S erotica falls prey to the same pattern: as anyone who has done D/S can tell you, the actual negotiation involved is a lot more subtle and complex than what happens in Anne Rice’s Beauty series.) Unfortunately, most depictions of nonmonogamy in popular culture fit the Valley of the Dolls model.

Sometimes these are spectacular and result in those guys giving up and going back to monogamy, but other times they seem to take the form of a steady failure to date, or a quickly cycling through relationships.

Of course, there are plenty of men who take well to nonmonogamy (myself included), espcially those who have been doing it for a long time.

In many ways, men’s sexual/romantic interactions with men are very different than what I describe here, and of course the same goes for women’s interactions with women. Russ Meyer’s movies generally featured tall women with huge breasts having sex with… Because these movies were made in the 60’s or 70’s, they ended on a moralistic tone to avoid the wrath of the censors, with the loose women getting married or killed.

I am focusing on men’s attitudes towards and involvement with women because that is where I have experience, and where some of the biggest problems reside. But their draw was the promise of easy sex with amazonian women.

Somehow this little detail gets lost in these fantasies, and it is not hard to see why.

Control is a staple of sexual fantasies (including many women’s fantasies), but control at this level is antithetical to actual sex with another person.

If you have this level of control, what you have on the other end is not a person. There is nothing wrong with masturbating to control fantasies, but beyond a certain point the fantasy is not going to become reality.

This should be read as an addendum to standard poly 101 information, such as my guide. A while ago I noticed a problem in my polyamorous social circles, namely that some of the guys just are not doing that well, in terms of finding partners, dating, and generally succeeding at nonmonogamy.

In particular, the guys who are new to nonmonogamy seem to make a lot of blunders.

Somehow this little detail gets lost in these fantasies, and it is not hard to see why.

Control is a staple of sexual fantasies (including many women’s fantasies), but control at this level is antithetical to actual sex with another person.

If you have this level of control, what you have on the other end is not a person. There is nothing wrong with masturbating to control fantasies, but beyond a certain point the fantasy is not going to become reality.

This should be read as an addendum to standard poly 101 information, such as my guide. A while ago I noticed a problem in my polyamorous social circles, namely that some of the guys just are not doing that well, in terms of finding partners, dating, and generally succeeding at nonmonogamy.

In particular, the guys who are new to nonmonogamy seem to make a lot of blunders.

But he cannot, because he is too busy chasing a dream and cannot see what is right in front of him. The negotiation often takes time and energy, though other times it is quick.